Hello Third Trimester Of Pregnancy- Pleased To Meet You!

I am now 28+1 day pregnant. I still know that there is a long road ahead, that there are no guarantees in life, and obviously I want them to stay in there for as long as possible. But 28 weeks is when rates of survival for premature babies really increase, and it has always been a major milestone for me.

When I had my stitch put in at just over 23 weeks the consultant said "I don't see this getting to to term but let's aim for 28 weeks" and here I am!

I did think I would feel more relieved than I do. I remember 4 weeks after Oliver and Matthew were born thinking "They'd be 28 weeks now and they'd probably be OK" But rather than relief I think I feel a bit of cautious optimism.. When Oliver and Matthew were born they had about a 30% chance of surviving and their chances of surviving without any major disability was tiny. If the Beansters arrived today then the chances of them surviving would be around the 90% mark and they would have a high chance of being ok in the long run after a lengthy hospital stay.

I also feel like perhaps I could start shopping and nesting...at last!

Talking of my number 1 boys, as I have mentioned before, Matthew and Oliver were cremated so we don't have a headstone or a grave for them. Instead, we have lots of special things to remember them by, either organised by us or our families. Among other things they have a tree at Alnwick Gardens where Chris and I got married and a butterfly in the Great North Museum.

Their Aunty and Uncle sponsored them a tree in a forest in Durham and their Grandparents have planted various things in gardens for them.  At home we have lanterns with their names on and a photo of the beach where we scattered their ashes. However, my work gave us some money to buy something special for our garden for them and we haven't got round to doing this yet. We thought that we might dedicate a tree in the garden on their birthday. I'd been looking all over for a nice sort of sign or plaque for it (one that doesn't look to "memorially")and I have finally found one and it's arrived!

Ready for the garden.

On a final note, at the time of writing the Royal Baby is on it's way. It's all over the news but I just feel nervous as I know that a happy ending isn't guaranteed. I think that's a change you go through when you lose a baby. Now, when I hear of a woman in labour my first thought isn't "Oh isn't it wonderful I wonder if it's a girl or boy?" rather it's "I hope they are all OK!"

Back to the Beansters, tomorrow it is their 28 week growth scan and consultants appointment so we'll see how they are doing.